I’m A Sheep

I’m a sheep.

Stubborn, painfully so.

Lazy, only wanting to wander the hills.

I tried being my own shepherd once.

I thought I could do it on my own.
I thought I could find my own pastures.
I thought I would find beautiful sweeping vistas, with stunning views.
I thought I would find endless meadows full of joy.

So I left the flock.

I took off.

I headed South.
The land looked pretty enough.
What I had heard of it was what I had always dreamed of finding.
I heard other sheep talk about it.
So why shouldn’t I be able to go find it?
So I did.

But I was missing something crucial to my survival.
You see, I’m a sheep.
I can’t shepherd myself…if I could do that, then I would never have needed a shepherd.

I tried making it.
It was difficult, but I finally made it to where I had set out to.
The problem was, that it wasn’t what the other sheep had talked about.
The scenic vistas were full of trash…
The meadows were burnt and the grass was gone…
The hills were brown…
The trees were barren…
The ponds were dried up, with no drop to drink.

In an instant, it had hit me.
I’m a sheep.

Who was I to think that I could find peace, happiness, and joy by myself?
I’m a sheep.
I’m a sheep who had never been satisfied with where my shepherd had tended my flock.
I always heard rumors that there was better.
But I know now they were only voices hoping those places existed, not that they really did…

The only place that I had ever felt safe was in the shepherd’s arms.
The pasture where my shepherd kept us was green. Greener than green.
The ponds were filled with water.
The meadows waving in the cool of the day.

I had always tried to find reasons why the shepherd didn’t know everything…
And why the shepherd could be wrong.

But in the moment looking upon the Southland, I realized in an instant…
That the shepherd was right all along.
That the shpeherd had dearly loved me.
That he had only wanted the best for me.

So I went home.
I found the area where I knew I was getting close when I saw a member of my flock.
He came running toward me, screaming all the way.
He told the shepherd that I was back.

The shepherd out ran the other members of the flock.
He came and picked me up.
He told me how he had looked for me far and wide.

You see, I’m a sheep.
And without my Shepherd, I am nothing…